The phone call came from the father of a 7-year-old soccer player:

"He wanted to know what he could do to help his daughter be on the Olympic team,'' Centerville High boys' soccer coach Brian Stevens said, chuckling. "I asked him: 'Is this really what your daughter wants?' Let her be a kid, let her have fun.'

"He just pretty much ignored me.'' Pushy parents are nothing new in youth sports. The so-called "little-league" parent who berates his kid and coaches has been well publicized.

But some youth sports officials say that select sports, a newer program that emphasizes competition and winning, is creating an even more intense breed of parents bent on turning their kids into superstars.

"No doubt about it, parents are the toughest people to please,'' said Jerry Zollars, a coach in the Beavercreek Stars select basketball program.

Parents, however, are essential to the success of select sports. They're required to invest substantial time and money in their child's activities. That's because select teams play more games than recreational leagues, travel more and are privately run.

Many parents want input on how the select club or team operates. How much involvement they should have is not always agreed upon by parents and coaches.

Gail Spears of Washington Twp. said she pushed Beavercreek Stars' coaches to reconsider their decision after they cut her son, Chris, from their All-Star basketball team last season. Coaches questioned her interference but eventually took Chris on the team after watching him play more.

"If your child was as devastated as mine (after being cut) ... what would you do?'' Spears said.

On one hand, parents who want a say in coaching or team decisions can be seen as overstepping their bounds. On the other hand, parent participation is encouraged - and indeed, essential - because select is not supported by paid staff and public tax dollars, like many recreational programs.

"In some programs, parents don't have a lot of say in what goes on,'' Soccer Centerville president Gary Moorhead said. "We allow them to have that say.''

Organizations such as Soccer Centerville, Beavercreek Stars and Huber Heights Warrior Club are run by volunteer parents who make decisions on everything from which coaches to hire and fire to how much to charge for club dues. Other clubs, like the Centerville Galaxies, are less democratic.

`I run the show,'' said Vince Kohen, founder of the Galaxies, a soccer club in Centerville. "When the kid is on the field, the kid is ours.''

It can get sticky, though, when parents expect their contributions to influence what happens with their child on the playing field, coaches and program directors say.

"We're asking the parents to volunteer their time equally whether they have starter kids or kids who don't play much,'' said Dave Stelter, league director for the Stars basketball organization. "Sometimes parents get a little resentful when they give their time and their child doesn't play.''

Coaches disagree on how to best handle pushy or meddlesome parents. Some keep them at arm's length, refusing to bow to their demands. Others welcome - or at least tolerate - their input, believing it's the best way to keep the peace.

"Before my season even started, before I even had tryouts, I had parents calling me about who the assistant coaches were going to be and what teams their kids were going to be on,'' said Zollars of Beavercreek. "As a coach, the ideal situation is to ignore all that and do what you want.

"But ... you can't ignore it. If there are a few parents who are unhappy, everybody will be unhappy.''

Part of the problem, coaches say, is that some parents attach social significance and status to their child's involvement in select. In some communities, select is regarded as a special, elite club. Activities - such as dances and golf outings - are designed to make the parents feel a part of the group.

"Parents socialize with each other, they travel with each other, spend weekends all over the country with each other,'' Stevens said. "It becomes a very close-knit group. And when a child comes to the high school and we cut him, it's almost like the parent is cut from the group.''

Roy Leatherbury, a select coach and girls' soccer coach at Alter High, has seen it happen and wonders why people take it so personally.

"People get their self-image caught up in this,'' he said. "It's just soccer, for gosh sakes.''

Leatherbury should know - his own kids played select.

"It took me two children to learn to shut up in the car on the way home and say 'nice job' and nothing else," he said.

CONTACT: Susan Vinella at susan_vinella@coxohio.com