Increasingly popular programs emphasize winning at the cost of little participation for some.

In youth sports, should all kids get equal playing time? Or should the minutes go mostly to the best players?

Should having fun be the main goal? Or should it be to win?

Youth sports experts nearly always side with equal playing time and having competitive and increasingly popular youth sports program, winning is usually the goal. And that often means some kids get left sitting at the end of the bench, never breaking a sweat. It happens in select soccer, basketball and baseball - and it happens throughout the Miami Valley and around the country.

BILL REINKE/DAYTON DAILY NEWS Winning is more important than participation in the Centerville youth select basketball league in which Jeff Laravie coaches.

Jeff Laravie, coach of the third-grade select team for the Centerville Basketball Club, explained the reasoning.

"We don't want to lose a ball game because we played kids equally,'' Laravie said. "It's sort of like a business: I'm trying to put the best product on the floor.''

In a recent game, Laravie put his philosophy in action.

With his team winning by 21 points and just four minutes left, Laravie walked over to two third-grade boys who hadn't played much. Surely, the kids would get to play, right?

Instead, Laravie kneeled down to the kids: "There's too much time left," he told the boys, who seemed to understand. "I don't want the other team to go crazy (and catch up)."

Disagreements between parents and coaches became so heated at times in the Centerville Basketball Club that last year officials decided to put their philosophy on playing time in writing and distribute it to parents.

"While the commitment of CBC is to develop talent, the parents and players must realize that CBC will play to win,'' the handbook explained. "... there is no guarantee regarding playing time."

The hope is that if parents understand the club's position from the start, they'll be more willing to accept it if their kids don't play a lot. Or, if parents disagree, they'll have the opportunity to enroll their children in a less competitive YMCA or recreational-league program, where a certain amount of playing time is guaranteed.

"We tell them our philosophy right up front, '' CBC director Randy Neises said. "If parents don't like it, it's America and there are other places to play.''

Coaches in other select programs around the Miami Valley - and there are dozens - say they frequently face parents upset that their kids aren't seeing enough action.

Parents ask how can their kids ever develop skills if they don't get in the games?

"I'm paying a lot of money for my son to be trained so he can try out for the high school team and hopefully make it,'' said Amy Schomburg, whose son Mark, 14, plays for the Centerville Galaxies soccer club. "If he's sitting on the sidelines ... he's not going to get better.''

Longtime Soccer Centerville coach Marty Clark empathizes with some of the parents.

"Some coaches bring the problems on themselves because they don't play kids,'' he said. "If a kid's on a team, he ought to play. I play everybody but I'm not usual.''

Youth sports experts say athletic programs should provide equal opportunities for every child, regardless of ability. A lack of playing time robs kids not only of the chance to develop their skills, but it also takes away the fun of being involved in a participant sport. A dozen kids interviewed for this story said they favor playing over winning.

"If I had my choice of playing five games or winning one, I'd rather play five,'' said Alison Bales, 12, a select basketball player from Beavercreek. "I think it's more fun to play than it is to win."

Kids who don't get much of a chance to play, especially at ages 8, 9 and 10, might be discouraged from continuing to participate, said Martha Ewing, an associate professor at the Institute for the Study of Youth Sports at Michigan State University. And that could unfairly weed out kids who are simply late bloomers, she said.

But Bob Grote, a former basketball player and coach at Wright State University, argues that sports are really no different than other childhood endeavors. He said children are separated by academic ability in the classroom all the time and few ever complain about that.

"We're competitive with them in everything else that they do,'' said Grote, whose son Scott was a starter on the CBC's 5th grade team last winter. "Why should it be different in sports?

"At some point in time, kids have to understand they're not good enough.''

Reggie Winters agrees that kids have to learn that lesson - but not in elementary school. The basketball program he founded at the Salvation Army includes an in-house league in which all kids play equally. A group of players from this league are then chosen to play additional games in select leagues.

CBC coach Herb Shaughnessy said he believes in giving kids fair playing time, but said sitting them on the bench sometimes has its purpose.

"Which is worse: Not playing a kid very much or putting him in a situation where he's so intimidated he's going to fail?'' he said. "If the other team is playing to win, you pretty much have to, too.''

CONTACT: Susan Vinella at susan_vinella@coxohio.com